I had a great question asked on a recent post about strengthening our Energetic Boundaries –

What are Energetic Boundaries?

A very simple definition.  It is an energetic protective boundary between you and others. There are different layers, the main ones are:

  • physical
  • emotional
  • relational 
  • spiritual

It isn’t something you physically see or feel.  Emotionally you feel the power of it, if you have them.  Or you feel the negative effects of not having them.

 

Do I need to Strengthen MY Boundaries?

Most people naturally have good energetic boundaries.  My husband and oldest son for instance have pretty good emotional boundaries.  If someone else is upset, it doesn’t really bother them.  They have healthy relationships and are spiritually pretty grounded.  

My Experience

Some people are very sensitive to other peoples emotions or even their physical issues. For instance before I knew how to increase my boundaries, if I was around someone sad, I would feel SAD.

It wasn’t that I felt sorry for the person, I was feeling their feelings like they were my own.  It is difficult to help others when you are feeling their feeling.  You may not even be aware of it consciously, but your body feels it. 

I don’t even have to be around the person to feel it.  I remember T1 telling me a story about war orphans from a movie he had seen at school.  I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t, he kept sharing these stories.  I felt so heavy and sad for the rest of the day.  I didn’t know why.  The next day I broke down in sobs and suddenly my body was feeling pain and horror.  I remembered that conversation I had with T1 and realized what was going on.  I was somehow tapped into their feelings. It was pretty overwhelming.

That was the event that made me really start to seek out how to protect myself.  It is great if we can avoid certain conversations or movies.  It isn’t always possible, I like being with people and want to be able to enjoy interacting, and needed tools to help me in situations that come up and be protected.

I realized 2 of my boys were empathic as well and wanted to have tools for them.

Empathic People

People who feel other peoples feelings are called empathic.  If you are empathic you can relate to what I am explaining and you would definitely benefit from strengthening your energetic boundaries.   Or maybe you have a child like this and they would benefit from a discussion about how they don’t have to feel others feelings and how to shield themselves.

T3 was telling me once when I was sad, “Mommy I will feel your sadness, so you don’t have to.”  We had a great talk about how I don’t need or want him to feel my sadness, that it actually makes me sadder when he does that.  He really thought that by him feeling it, I wouldn’t have to.  We talked about how he can shield himself from others emotions.  He can see I am sad and offer love and support, but he doesn’t need to feel it.

Strengthening Boundaries

If you have no idea and can’t relate at all to what I shared above, Yay!  Your energetic boundaries are good.  🙂

If you  can relate, then you should check out these 3 posts or this awesome class.

Create Your Rainbow Shield

8 Tips to Keep Your Energetic Shield Strong

Grounding is also helpful, and can sometimes be challenging for empaths.  I just found this article which has some tips too.

Boost Your Boundaries – 90 minute class including a powerful visualization.

Since learning how to protect myself I usually only feel my feelings and become quickly aware if I start to feel others feelings.  I am still able to empathize and connect with others, but from a much more stable and grounded place.   I also have tools for highly emotionally charged situations, like funerals.  For my boys in school these tools are invaluable as they are surrounded by over 100 kids throughout the day.

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