Do you find it challenging to monitor your child’s phone?

  • The THOUSANDS of texts.
  • The hundreds of emails.
  • The websites they visit
  • Not to mention the social media accounts.

I will be honest when my older boys were younger, I would maybe check their phones every other week and it was so time consuming and mind numbing too!

Then I discovered Bark.

This is an AMAZING app that monitors your child’s

  • texts
  • emails
  • google drive
  • social media accounts
  • and MORE

Then I get an alert if something suspicious comes up.

It is so wonderful.

I save so much time and also everything is being checked, so I don’t miss out on any warning signs or dangerous things.

I go into more detail in this weeks podcast.

Also even Bryson, who is 15, likes Bark.

He feels like it is less invasive than me reading all of his texts.

And he will even warn me “You might get a Bark notice” and tell me what is going on.

I wish I had this tool when my older boys were younger. It may have prevented the whole Mexico fiasco!

You can get a free trial of Bark – just click here!

I had a great question asked on a recent post about strengthening our Energetic Boundaries –

What are Energetic Boundaries?

A very simple definition.  It is an energetic protective boundary between you and others. There are different layers, the main ones are:

  • physical
  • emotional
  • relational 
  • spiritual

It isn’t something you physically see or feel.  Emotionally you feel the power of it, if you have them.  Or you feel the negative effects of not having them.

Do I need to Strengthen MY Boundaries?

Most people naturally have good energetic boundaries.  My husband and oldest son for instance have pretty good emotional boundaries.  If someone else is upset, it doesn’t really bother them.  They have healthy relationships and are spiritually pretty grounded.  

My Experience

Some people are very sensitive to other peoples emotions or even their physical issues. For instance before I knew how to increase my boundaries, if I was around someone sad, I would feel SAD.

It wasn’t that I felt sorry for the person, I was feeling their feelings like they were my own.  It is difficult to help others when you are feeling their feeling.  You may not even be aware of it consciously, but your body feels it. 

I don’t even have to be around the person to feel it.  I remember T1 telling me a story about war orphans from a movie he had seen at school.  I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t, he kept sharing these stories.  I felt so heavy and sad for the rest of the day.  I didn’t know why.  The next day I broke down in sobs and suddenly my body was feeling pain and horror.  I remembered that conversation I had with T1 and realized what was going on.  I was somehow tapped into their feelings. It was pretty overwhelming.

That was the event that made me really start to seek out how to protect myself.  It is great if we can avoid certain conversations or movies.  It isn’t always possible, I like being with people and want to be able to enjoy interacting, and needed tools to help me in situations that come up and be protected.

I realized 2 of my boys were empathic as well and wanted to have tools for them.

Empathic People

People who feel other peoples feelings are called empathic.  If you are empathic you can relate to what I am explaining and you would definitely benefit from strengthening your energetic boundaries.   Or maybe you have a child like this and they would benefit from a discussion about how they don’t have to feel others feelings and how to shield themselves.

T3 was telling me once when I was sad, “Mommy I will feel your sadness, so you don’t have to.”  We had a great talk about how I don’t need or want him to feel my sadness, that it actually makes me sadder when he does that.  He really thought that by him feeling it, I wouldn’t have to.  We talked about how he can shield himself from others emotions.  He can see I am sad and offer love and support, but he doesn’t need to feel it.

8 Tips to Strengthen Your Boundaries

1.  Pray every day and night for protection.

You are probably already doing this.  But it is so important.  I have a prayer cheat sheet and it is on my list to pray for protection!

Screenshot 2015-03-17 14.37.59

2. Use a Color Shield.

I do this every morning after I pray.  I look at my colors and make sure they are ideal colors and are surrounding me and completely sealed as well. I have a podcast episode and video that teaches you how to do this!

3. Check your Chakras.

These are the things I look for with Chakras – to help me remember I do A-E, though I actually usually start at E and go back to A as I am checking things.

I usually start at the Root Chakra and check it for E-A.  Then I check the Sacral Chakra for E-A, etc.   and then go up to the next Chakra.  Then once I am at the crown Chakra, I work my way back down.  Energy can go up and down the Chakras and sometimes everything will test good going up and there are issues going down.  So with people with boundary issues, I like to check up and down.

  • A – Aligned (Is it aligned correctly?)
  • B – Balanced (Is it balanced?)
  • C – Connected (Is it correctly connected with the chakra above and below?)
  • D – Direction (is it going in the right direction?)
  • E – Energy (Speed – is it going at the right speed?)

4. Check for Negative Cords

People with boundary issues sometimes tend to gather negative cords.  

(photo from etsy store - amillionideas)
(photo from etsy store – amillionideas)

This is the visualization I like to teach my clients for clearing negative cords.

  • Imagine gathering all negative cords in front of you, like gathering strings from balloons (the balloons represent the people who are corded to you) stuck to you.
  • Take imaginary scissors and cut the cords.
  • Hand the people attached to the cords to Jesus.  He will take good care of them.
  • Then imagine the white healing light of Jesus shining down on you filling the holes where the cords were attached.

It feels SO much better when you are not corded to so many other people!  

This is something you could do every day until your boundaries are stronger.

5. Bring in the Light

We live in a world with Light and Dark.  I like to focus on the light, but there are times when darkness enters my space and I use specific tools to help me overpower it with light.

Click on this link for a video explaining how as well as a visualization you can listen to.

6. Ask for Angels.  

If you really struggle ask for angels to help protect you. I have a free e-mail class you can take if you need suggestions on how to ask angels for help.

7.  Essential Oils

I love using doTerra essential oils for strengthening my energetic boundaries.  Frankincense is so great for raising your own vibration, which in turn will strengthen your boundaries.  Some blends that I like to recommend for my clients are On Guard, Terra Shield and Elevation.

8. Vibes Up

Vibes Up is a company that infuses different items with energies from a mixture of crystals and other natural products to help protect you from all the energy around you and strengthen your own boundary.

They have anything from teddy bears, to jewelry to mats to put electronic devices on.

I find that it is helpful to wear my Vibes Up when I have a high emotion venue to be at.  (Such as a funeral)  But for me it isn’t something I need every day.  However some very sensitive people would benefit from daily use.

I have also used their mats under electronics, especially my sons room.  He loves having a fan blowing on him, white noise and DVD player and night light.  Wowsers, that is a lot of energy swirling around him.  So I put a mat under them to help.

*****Protect yourself from your cell phone.

We carry these with us like they are babies.  Sticking them in our pockets or even our bras!  They are sending out energy.  Vibes up has something to protect us from their energy.

I hope that this has helped those of you struggling with Energetic Boundaries.

Learning how to strengthen my boundaries changed my life, I know it can change yours too…

Since learning how to protect myself I usually only feel my feelings and become quickly aware if I start to feel others feelings.  I am still able to empathize and connect with others, but from a much more stable and grounded place.  

Do you want more support?

boost-boundaries

I have created a 90 minute class with more information about these tools and many more, that is available immediately to help you Boost Your Boundaries!   Click here to learn more.

It includes a 20 minute visualization to walk you through all the tools I share to strengthen your boundaries.

Ahh, being the parent of a fiercely independent 18 year old.  I love it, so many opportunities for growth.  So many opportunities to try and let go of control, while also recognizing there are certain things I do still have stewardship over and have to set certain boundaries.  However achieving the balance in that is quite the learning experience for us all.

I love this scripture.

Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 “let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”

Here is what jumped out for me and how I try to apply it.

Cheerfully

Remembering that ultimately I set the tone in the house helps me try to stay cheerful.  If mom isn’t happy, no one is happy.  If I can stay positive and cheerful that can help things go much smoother.  It helps to have T3 point out if I am grumpy “Mom you are not happy right now, you need to listen to some music.”  He then proceeds to put on my favorite hymns, which indeed helps me to move up into a higher state than grumpy.  I also try to remember that Gratitude can shift me faster than anything.  So I try to state what I am grateful for.

Do All things that lie in our Power – 

There are some things that I do have power over.  Rob and I have set certain expectations that we want met.  It is less in some ways than when he was younger, but right now there are definitely some specific things that we have felt inspired to enforce.  So I will do all I can do to help bring that to pass.

I pray each morning, “What can I do today for ___?”   Pretty much I am inspired to “LOVE HIM” and sometimes there is 1 other thing.  So I try to do those things cheerfully, then I do what is next in the scripture.

Stand Still – 

Part of this is letting go of the things that are outside of my power.  For instance our sons outfit of choice is basketball shorts and a white t-shirt.  This does not matter in the scheme of things.  They are (usually) clean, so it is not the end of the world.  This has been a touch of contention for my husband, but I think he finally realizes that he needs to stand still on this topic.

Part of this is also being still in my mind, body and spirit.  Meditating every morning has really helped me to get to this still space and find peace amidst what can sometimes feel like chaos.

With UTMOST Assurance of God

Then it is all about letting go and trusting God.  Let it Go!  Let Go and Let God… you name it, try and give it over to Him.  Knowing that in the end…

That His Arm will be Revealed

God loves my son as much as I do.  Even more in fact.

I loved in conference when Elder Holland said, “My brothers and sisters, the first great commandment of all eternity is to love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind, and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keep seeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor.”

God LOVES my son with all His heart, might, mind and strength.  He has got his back.  All I can do is do what God inspires me to do and then leave the rest up to my son and God.  I have great faith that will all end up OK.

Do you need help Mothering with Faith?

Join in my upcoming class/group coaching for moms. Starts in just a few weeks!

Click here to learn more.

Presents – Buying Presents, Wrapping Presents, Shipping Presents, Organizing Presents, Making sure we have equalish presents….

I think that a lot of the holiday activities are really just a distraction from the real meaning of Christmas.  You can tell I am in the thick of the presents aspect of holiday activities.

Todays podcast episode I dig a little deeper on this topic.

Listen Here

Each year I say I will simplify our presents.  I wish I had started out with the 4 presents – something to read, something to wear, something they need and something they want.

What tends to happen is I do simplify, but then my husband is worried they aren’t getting enough.  It can be a challenge, especially as I am the one who is buying the gifts and I hate last minute shopping. 

2020 I think we have shifted, but there still is this focus on presents, but I really want my focus to be on presence. 

Most presents we give are possessions.  That isn’t the present that we are celebrating.

We are celebrating the present that God shared with us, Jesus!   “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever would believe on Him shall have everlasting life and never perish.”

Why do I spend so much time consumed with presents when what really matters is presence?  Being present with God in prayer.  Being present with my family when we are together….

Pray today and ask, what distractions can I clear from my life so I can be more present with those around me?

“A man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”

—Luke 12:15

I think I will choose to do a social media fast this week and try to leave my phone plugged in throughout most of the day, so I can be present with my family.