When I was a newlywed, it confused me so much when Rob would ask me where the bandaids were. The first few times it made sense. But after showing him 5 times where the bandaids were. I was irritated when he asked.
It was only after I figured out, he wasn’t just asking where the bandaids were, he was wanting some love and attention because he got hurt. That I was able to respond to the question with kindness and love.
25 years later and he still asks where the bandaids are. Thank goodness I figured out what he really was asking for so many years ago.
What is a question someone asks you over and over again? Try using the AWARE tool to see if you can figure out what they are really asking
- Aware – Notice they are asking the question.
- Wonder – Why are they really asking this. What do they really want or need?
- Accept – accept my irritation, of course I was irritated when I thought it was this…. Accept what they really are asking, of course they would want this.
- Respond – Keeping in mind what I want to create, how can I respond next time they ask this?
- Evaluate – How did it go?
Link to the Aware podcast episode