Why transitions can be so tricky and how to make them easier.
Types of Transitions
We have natural transitions throughout the year.
And then special circumstance transitions that pop up throughout our life.
For instance, natural transitions include school starting. In the fall in August or September, typically our children start a new school year and this is a natural transition.
Also, then summer starting another natural transition that occurs.
Christmastime. Is a natural thing that happens every year. And we have certain feelings and emotions that go with all of these things.
Then there’s special circumstances such as maybe someone gets sick or you get a new job or who is living in your home changes, maybe you’re pregnant and you have a new baby that’s a new person.
Or maybe you had an adult child move back home.
Transitions Can Create Uncertainty and Our Saboteurs Pop Up More Often
All these changes can create challenges in our life.
And what I’ve found with myself and most of the women I work with is that transitions can create feelings of uncertainty.
We may notice more judgment of ourselves, of others, or just the situation in general.
And often our other inner saboteurs rear their ugly head during these times of transition. And that makes it harder to trust and turn to Heavenly Help.
Saboteurs – the 10 types
So, let me talk a little bit about saboteurs. We all have a inner judge or a inner critic, and there are nine other saboteurs that we learn about in Positive Intelligence.
There’s a great book by Shirzad Chamine. And also I’m a positive intelligence coach and I teach people about these saboteurs and how to intercept them.
But here are the nine saboteur’s: controller, hyper achiever, restless stickler, pleaser, hypervigilant, avoider, victim, and hyper- rational.
This transition, really got me spinning!
I’m going to share two very specific ways that transitions in the past year have gotten my saboteurs kind of revved up and what I’ve done to intercept them and teach you a simple tool to do the same.
In October of 2021, my oldest son unexpectedly moved back. We got a call on a Friday that he was struggling, and we drove to Las Vegas on a Saturday to pick him up and move him home with us. I knew in many ways that it was an answer to prayers and I definitely felt Heavenly help in getting him back to our home.
But I also felt these inner critics, my saboteurs rearing their ugly heads and trying to undermine me and create doubt and worry. These inner saboteurs often show up as judgment. As I mentioned before, we all have an inner judge, whether it’s judging others, ourselves, or the situations. For me, my judge was judging me and all the things I’ve done wrong as a mom.
And like somehow blaming me for the situation that Devon was in. I was creating a lot of guilt and self-doubt. And I found myself spinning in negative emotions and thoughts. When we are spinning in negativity, it makes it harder to turn to Heavenly help and it makes it harder for us to be grounded and in a good place to help others.
Have you noticed the same thing for you? Have you found that transitions or challenges make it hard to stay in a positive mindset? I think this is pretty common. Another saboteur that was rearing its ugly head was my avoider. My avoider really wanted to just avoid having some hard discussions that needed to be had with Devon..
It just kind of wanted to brush things aside and just let him move home and not address things. So I had to be very intentional and really work on intercepting my saboteurs so that I could confidently and calmly and appropriately address the situation.
Intercepting a Saboteur.
One of the tools that I use to intercept my saboteur is called a PQ rep.
PQ stands for positive intelligence. So an example of a PQ rep, I’ll walk you through right. Take your thumb and your pointer finger and rub them together gently enough that you can feel the ridges of your fingertip. Like almost like you can feel what your fingerprint feels like with those ridges. So you have to pay attention and push them together very gently and slowly.
So you can feel those ridges..
By doing this, you have to pay enough attention that it gets you into this mindful state for a very short amount of time. Really I’ll do a PQ rep for maybe 10 seconds and be able to intercept the saboteur. Obviously, first I have to be aware that I’m having saboteurs happen and I recognize that. Often by my thoughts or feelings.
So I’m actually at the end of this, going to share a free class that I’m giving on how to recognize and intercept your saboteurs. So I’m gonna save more details about that to the end, but of course, first you have to recognize that you are having some sabotage energy, your thoughts, your feelings. Et cetera.
And that is what helps you to know,
oh, I need to do a PQ rep right now.
And there’s lots of different kinds of PQ reps. If the one I just taught is not helpful. I have others as well.
Once we got used to Devon being home – now he is moving out! Another transition!
So let me share the second transition that has brought up some of my saboteurs. I feel like we were pretty good at having Devon live here. It went much better than I thought it would. We were able to address some issues and he was able to get some help and he’s healed a lot and gotten to a good place. And literally this morning, he moved out.
He’s moving back to Nevada, to a different city, but to be close to his girlfriend, he’s moving there. And overall, it’s a good move. I feel pretty good about it when I’m in my, calm grounded space. It feels good, but it’s still a transition and it gets my saboteurs revved up.
My judge goes into overdrive and I’m getting some self-doubt and criticism into my head and I start spinning and I worry,
Did we help him enough?
Is he really ready?
How’s it gonna go?
What if there’s problems?
Like I start spinning in all of these things and it’s all coming from my saboteurs. And I know that because when I am calm and grounded and connected to God and my mind, body and spirit are working together. I feel calm about it, and I need to remember that.
So when I start spinning, I recognize it and I’ll do a PQ rep or two. And get back into my Sage brain, my, my wise self, and that puts me in the place to be able to pray, get direction for me, get direction for him, and then follow through with confidence.
That’s really what I feel is awesome.
When we’re able to intercept our saboteurs, we’re able to move forward with confidence in a good direction..
Information about the Free Class
Let me tell you about this free class that I’m going to make available to you guys. It is called three easy steps to intercept your internal saboteur. I’ll share a quiz, so you can find out your top saboteurs. I’ll teach you an easy tool to learn, to recognize your saboteurs when they’re rearing their ugly heads, and then some more tools to intercept your saboteur.
I’ll teach you another way to do a PQ rep. And by doing this, you will find more peace and joy in your life. Now for the first 10 people who complete the class, I will also offer a free coaching call and information on how to sign up for that free coaching call will be inside that class.
Joy in All Seasons Summit
And the reason why I created this class is because I am going to be in the Joy in All Season summit, which is about building women up in all seasons of their lives. They’re bringing together successful coaches, authors, and speakers to help women get skills and the mindset and hope to find joy, no matter their circumstances.
That summit will be held Monday, September 12th through Friday, September 23rd. And I’m going to be one of the guests and I go a little deeper into this topic on that session. So hopefully you can join in on the summit. It is free and really enjoy it. And then each speaker will have some kind of freebie that they’re giving away.
It’s going to be lots of fun. I’m so honored that I was able to be a part of it. And I look forward to seeing you. Also having you sign up for my class, I will make sure the links are in the show notes so that you can easily join me. Enjoy.