Ahh, being the parent of a fiercely independent 18 year old. I love it, so many opportunities for growth. So many opportunities to try and let go of control, while also recognizing there are certain things I do still have stewardship over and have to set certain boundaries. However achieving the balance in that is quite the learning experience for us all.
I love this scripture.
Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 “let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”
Here is what jumped out for me and how I try to apply it.
Cheerfully –
Remembering that ultimately I set the tone in the house helps me try to stay cheerful. If mom isn’t happy, no one is happy. If I can stay positive and cheerful that can help things go much smoother. It helps to have T3 point out if I am grumpy “Mom you are not happy right now, you need to listen to some music.” He then proceeds to put on my favorite hymns, which indeed helps me to move up into a higher state than grumpy. I also try to remember that Gratitude can shift me faster than anything. So I try to state what I am grateful for.
Do All things that lie in our Power –
There are some things that I do have power over. Rob and I have set certain expectations that we want met. It is less in some ways than when he was younger, but right now there are definitely some specific things that we have felt inspired to enforce. So I will do all I can do to help bring that to pass.
I pray each morning, “What can I do today for ___?” Pretty much I am inspired to “LOVE HIM” and sometimes there is 1 other thing. So I try to do those things cheerfully, then I do what is next in the scripture.
Stand Still –
Part of this is letting go of the things that are outside of my power. For instance our sons outfit of choice is basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. This does not matter in the scheme of things. They are (usually) clean, so it is not the end of the world. This has been a touch of contention for my husband, but I think he finally realizes that he needs to stand still on this topic.
Part of this is also being still in my mind, body and spirit. Meditating every morning has really helped me to get to this still space and find peace amidst what can sometimes feel like chaos.
With UTMOST Assurance of God –
Then it is all about letting go and trusting God. Let it Go! Let Go and Let God… you name it, try and give it over to Him. Knowing that in the end…
That His Arm will be Revealed –
God loves my son as much as I do. Even more in fact.
I loved in conference when Elder Holland said, “My brothers and sisters, the first great commandment of all eternity is to love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind, and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keep seeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor.”
God LOVES my son with all His heart, might, mind and strength. He has got his back. All I can do is do what God inspires me to do and then leave the rest up to my son and God. I have great faith that will all end up OK.