At my very first Pam appointment, the first issue that came up was
Fear of Loss
2 incidents in my young childhood had given me this strong fear. A close family friend had 2 of her children die. One was hit by a car while riding on her bike. The other died after a long illness.
This experience as a young child has cast a long shadow on my mothering.
To give you an example at this appointment T1 was 13 and this was the first summer I let him ride his bike around our neighborhood by himself. He is 13. I had no conscious idea of why I was so scared to let him do that. But a good cry on the massage table after figuring it out and he was free on his bike this summer and I was never nervous at all.
Our subconscious mind is SO POWERFUL!!!!
My Birth Trauma Intensified this Fear of Loss
I have always been much more guarded with T1 then the other boys. In this session I discovered it was because that morning when I noticed he wasn’t moving in the womb, I already thought I had lost him. I was SO SCARED. That fear lingered through my mothering of him. Until I let it go on Pam’s amazing massage table.
It was amazing that once I made that connection and worked that fear of loss out of my body how I felt lighter and wasn’t scared anymore!
Big Bike Accident
***Ironically T1 had 2 big bike accidents after this.
1st, he fell off a cliff while biking. He was fine, however I woke up during a nap and knew something had happened.
2nd a few months later he fell and broke his jaw and arm, requiring surgery on both that night.
I am 100% certain I handled it so calmly because I had been seeing Pam and dealing with issues such as fear of loss. So when these things happened I could see them through clear lenses and I also had support in dealing with my emotions after.
