Fear of Loss Casts a Shadow over my Mothering

At my very first Pam appointment, the first issue that came up was

Fear of Loss

2 incidents in my young childhood had given me this strong fear. A close family friend had 2 of her children die.  One was hit by a car while riding on her bike.  The other died after a long illness.

This experience as a young child has cast a long shadow on my mothering.

To give you an example at this appointment T1 was 13 and this was the first summer I let him ride his bike around our neighborhood by himself.  He is 13.  I had no conscious idea of why I was so scared to let him do that.  But a good cry on the massage table after figuring it out and he was free on his bike this summer and I was never nervous at all.

Our subconscious mind is SO POWERFUL!!!!

My Birth Trauma Intensified this Fear of Loss

I have always been much more guarded with T1 then the other boys.  In this session I discovered it was because that morning when I noticed he wasn’t moving in the womb, I already thought I had lost him.  I was SO SCARED.  That fear lingered through my mothering of him.  Until I let it go on Pam’s amazing massage table.

It was amazing that once I made that connection and worked that fear of loss out of my body how I felt lighter and wasn’t scared anymore!

Big Bike Accident

***Ironically T1 had 2 big bike accidents after this.

1st, he fell off a cliff while biking.  He was fine, however I woke up during a nap and knew something had happened.

2nd a few months later he fell and broke his jaw and arm, requiring surgery on both that night.

I am 100% certain I handled it so calmly because I had been seeing Pam and dealing with issues such as fear of loss.  So when these things happened I could see them through clear lenses and I also had support in dealing with my emotions after.

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