I had a great question asked on a recent post about strengthening our Energetic Boundaries –

What are Energetic Boundaries?

A very simple definition.  It is an energetic protective boundary between you and others. There are different layers, the main ones are:

  • physical
  • emotional
  • relational 
  • spiritual

It isn’t something you physically see or feel.  Emotionally you feel the power of it, if you have them.  Or you feel the negative effects of not having them.

Do I need to Strengthen MY Boundaries?

Most people naturally have good energetic boundaries.  My husband and oldest son for instance have pretty good emotional boundaries.  If someone else is upset, it doesn’t really bother them.  They have healthy relationships and are spiritually pretty grounded.  

My Experience

Some people are very sensitive to other peoples emotions or even their physical issues. For instance before I knew how to increase my boundaries, if I was around someone sad, I would feel SAD.

It wasn’t that I felt sorry for the person, I was feeling their feelings like they were my own.  It is difficult to help others when you are feeling their feeling.  You may not even be aware of it consciously, but your body feels it. 

I don’t even have to be around the person to feel it.  I remember T1 telling me a story about war orphans from a movie he had seen at school.  I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t, he kept sharing these stories.  I felt so heavy and sad for the rest of the day.  I didn’t know why.  The next day I broke down in sobs and suddenly my body was feeling pain and horror.  I remembered that conversation I had with T1 and realized what was going on.  I was somehow tapped into their feelings. It was pretty overwhelming.

That was the event that made me really start to seek out how to protect myself.  It is great if we can avoid certain conversations or movies.  It isn’t always possible, I like being with people and want to be able to enjoy interacting, and needed tools to help me in situations that come up and be protected.

I realized 2 of my boys were empathic as well and wanted to have tools for them.

Empathic People

People who feel other peoples feelings are called empathic.  If you are empathic you can relate to what I am explaining and you would definitely benefit from strengthening your energetic boundaries.   Or maybe you have a child like this and they would benefit from a discussion about how they don’t have to feel others feelings and how to shield themselves.

T3 was telling me once when I was sad, “Mommy I will feel your sadness, so you don’t have to.”  We had a great talk about how I don’t need or want him to feel my sadness, that it actually makes me sadder when he does that.  He really thought that by him feeling it, I wouldn’t have to.  We talked about how he can shield himself from others emotions.  He can see I am sad and offer love and support, but he doesn’t need to feel it.

8 Tips to Strengthen Your Boundaries

1.  Pray every day and night for protection.

You are probably already doing this.  But it is so important.  I have a prayer cheat sheet and it is on my list to pray for protection!

Screenshot 2015-03-17 14.37.59

2. Use a Color Shield.

I do this every morning after I pray.  I look at my colors and make sure they are ideal colors and are surrounding me and completely sealed as well. I have a podcast episode and video that teaches you how to do this!

3. Check your Chakras.

These are the things I look for with Chakras – to help me remember I do A-E, though I actually usually start at E and go back to A as I am checking things.

I usually start at the Root Chakra and check it for E-A.  Then I check the Sacral Chakra for E-A, etc.   and then go up to the next Chakra.  Then once I am at the crown Chakra, I work my way back down.  Energy can go up and down the Chakras and sometimes everything will test good going up and there are issues going down.  So with people with boundary issues, I like to check up and down.

  • A – Aligned (Is it aligned correctly?)
  • B – Balanced (Is it balanced?)
  • C – Connected (Is it correctly connected with the chakra above and below?)
  • D – Direction (is it going in the right direction?)
  • E – Energy (Speed – is it going at the right speed?)

4. Check for Negative Cords

People with boundary issues sometimes tend to gather negative cords.  

(photo from etsy store - amillionideas)
(photo from etsy store – amillionideas)

This is the visualization I like to teach my clients for clearing negative cords.

  • Imagine gathering all negative cords in front of you, like gathering strings from balloons (the balloons represent the people who are corded to you) stuck to you.
  • Take imaginary scissors and cut the cords.
  • Hand the people attached to the cords to Jesus.  He will take good care of them.
  • Then imagine the white healing light of Jesus shining down on you filling the holes where the cords were attached.

It feels SO much better when you are not corded to so many other people!  

This is something you could do every day until your boundaries are stronger.

5. Bring in the Light

We live in a world with Light and Dark.  I like to focus on the light, but there are times when darkness enters my space and I use specific tools to help me overpower it with light.

Click on this link for a video explaining how as well as a visualization you can listen to.

6. Ask for Angels.  

If you really struggle ask for angels to help protect you. I have a free e-mail class you can take if you need suggestions on how to ask angels for help.

7.  Essential Oils

I love using doTerra essential oils for strengthening my energetic boundaries.  Frankincense is so great for raising your own vibration, which in turn will strengthen your boundaries.  Some blends that I like to recommend for my clients are On Guard, Terra Shield and Elevation.

8. Vibes Up

Vibes Up is a company that infuses different items with energies from a mixture of crystals and other natural products to help protect you from all the energy around you and strengthen your own boundary.

They have anything from teddy bears, to jewelry to mats to put electronic devices on.

I find that it is helpful to wear my Vibes Up when I have a high emotion venue to be at.  (Such as a funeral)  But for me it isn’t something I need every day.  However some very sensitive people would benefit from daily use.

I have also used their mats under electronics, especially my sons room.  He loves having a fan blowing on him, white noise and DVD player and night light.  Wowsers, that is a lot of energy swirling around him.  So I put a mat under them to help.

*****Protect yourself from your cell phone.

We carry these with us like they are babies.  Sticking them in our pockets or even our bras!  They are sending out energy.  Vibes up has something to protect us from their energy.

I hope that this has helped those of you struggling with Energetic Boundaries.

Learning how to strengthen my boundaries changed my life, I know it can change yours too…

Since learning how to protect myself I usually only feel my feelings and become quickly aware if I start to feel others feelings.  I am still able to empathize and connect with others, but from a much more stable and grounded place.  

Do you want more support?


I have created a 90 minute class with more information about these tools and many more, that is available immediately to help you Boost Your Boundaries!   Click here to learn more.

It includes a 20 minute visualization to walk you through all the tools I share to strengthen your boundaries.

1 Comment

  1. Cool! Thank you so much for sharing this. I learned a lot from this. Keep it up! I will share this with others as well.

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